(in the form of a newspaper
THE GATEWAY SINGERS
Salute the West That Really Was
NATION'S RECORD BUYERS FLOCK TO TRADING POSTS
The Gateway Singers, known from Laramie to Laredo, from Fort Dodge to Virginia City, have recorded an album of songs based on the real world that television fans have been watching on such shows as "Maverick," "Cheyenne," "Lawman," "Colt .45," "Sugarfoot," and "Bronco." Suspecting that the record business was missing an opportunity to tap this interest shown by the public in the romantic Old West, Warner Bros. Records commissioned this superb group to prepare this collection of material derived from authentic songs of the pioneering days of the plains. Release of this album brought Gateway fans flocking into town by horse, Pony Express, stage, and even on foot. "Wouldn't miss this album even at sixty paces," declared J. Gunsmoke Peabody, grizzled veteran of many a gunslingin' showdown.
OH BURY ME NOT
in new version
Western singers have been begging for years not to be buried on the Lone Prairie, but a new setting of the old warhorse was created recently by the Gateways, America's No. 1 balladeers. This new version features a melody not usually associated with this familiar lament, and a great arrangement built around the duet singing of Jerry Walter and Marc Richards. A string orchestra provides the background, arranged by Jack Stern, and the prairie wind effects alone are worth the price of admission. So are the harmonica of Tommy Morgan and the counter-singing of Elmerlee Thomas and Ernie Sheldon. The Desert Rat sez: "One of the prettiest revivals of an old favorite that you'll ever want to hear!"
I'M GONNA LEAVE OLD TEXAS NOW Declares JERRY (HOP ALONG) WALTER
"Enough is enough" declared Hopalong Walter, notorious banjo-picker and longhorn cow fancier. "I'm cuttin' out of Texas and I don't care who knows it" he confided to Travel Editor Jasper "Saddlesore" Smith in an exclusive interview. While Walter, a dashingly handsome critter in his 15-gallon Stetson and spike-heel boots (someone has got to tell him that the spurs are meant to stick straight out, not down), had a number of rather high-sounding and almost pious comments about his departure, insiders close to the local Wells Fargo suspect that the departure might be a combination of prudence and personal request by our Sheriff, Five-Pointed-Star Hennessy.
"HARD LIKKER KEEPS US ALIVE" GATEWAY SINGERS BOLDLY PROCLAIM
Local Temperance Union Deeply Distressed by Declaration by Disreputable Foursome "Have a little drink!" cried the Gateway Singers when our Health and Recreation Editor, Prudence G. Chastity, sought them out between sets at the Last Chance Saloon for a statement on Territorial Self-Improvement and Better Health Week. The detailed comments of the Gateways were not of a variety to be described as diplomatic. Jerry Walter was frank to admit that he'd rather have a jug than flowers at both ends of his grave, which came as no surprise to those who know him well. However, his statement was so blunt as to cause our Prudence to faint dead away. Fortunately, Marc Richards was able to revive her at the price of losing a triple shot of Panther Pride Reserve. "I thought a sip would do her some good" said Richards, "but darned if that dame didn't grab my glass and drain it to the last before she came to!"
INDIAN ARROW AVENGES
Thomas J. Lockridge, prairie homesteader, was killed by an Indian arrow shot from ambush during a Westward trek last week, it was reported by balladeer Ernie Sheldon of the Gateway Singers. No other attack was made on the wagon train, leading others in the party to suspect that Lockridge was the victim of revenge for an incident in which he figured recently. Riding as an advance scout for a wagon train, Lockridge fired at what he thought was a prairie dog. It turned out to be an Indian girl, who was killed instantly by the bullet. Talk among trading post Indians has been that she would surely be avenged by the son of Chief Hummingbird Horse, who has been highly active of late in skirmishes against West-bound traffic.
Lockridge is survived by his young widow, Mary Geary Lockridge, daughter of Silas Geary, former deputy sheriff of Broken Jaw.
"In the Badlands, They Buried a Good Man"
SMOKEY JOE PUT TO REST, GUN IN HIS HAND
Smokey Joe Fleetwood was buried yesterday in a simple ceremony conducted in the Black Hills foothills by his old pals from Dakota. "He was a good man," said the Gateway Singers. "They hunted him day and night and finally got him, but he was okay in our book. He lived with a gun in his hand, he died that way, so it seemed appropriate to lay him away." His widow, still a local resident, was outwardly resigned, but his friends believe , she is deeply moved by his demise. "It's a mighty hard thing to have one's man cut down like a tree in bloom," she said, when asked by your reporter for a comment.
Gentlemen! Maybe you chew a thinkin' man's tobacky. Or brush your teeth with NoBreth Molar Paste - but you'll never make it with the LADIES unless you recognize that
SPANISH IS THE LOVING TONGUE
You gotta be able to make AMOR to the SENORITA in the LENGUAJE that she can CAPEESH!
Profesor ERNESTO SHELDONEZ of the Texas Border conducts classes for all kinds of Hombres
- beginners to Advanzieros! (Listen to Side 1, Band 6 for complete details!)
------------- ADVERTISEMENT --------------
Don't Hit That Trail on Your Hoss - NEXT TIME GO BY STAGE!
and leave the drivin' to us !
Don't fret, don't cry -You don't have to pawn your ring. Ride Now in Our New Deluxe Four-Wheel Stagecoaches-and PAY LATER, (but not too much later. We have retained the Boot Hill Collection Agency to see to that.)
MARC RICHARDS STAGE LINES, INC. Offices in Deadwood, Gun Butte Canyon, Indian Bend, and Poker Flatt.
RIDE AN OLD PAINT at the Gateway Dude Ranch
Ride our marvelous Old West Paints-authentic Ponies of the Express days! The Gateway Dude Ranch offers rides, long and short. Go to Montana for Old Hoolyann Day. Go to Denver (like one of Old Bill Jones' kids) or Wrong (like the other one). But Go On One Of Our Old Paints! (Pony Express and Diners' Club cards honored)
GATEWAY DUDE RANCH
Richards & Walter, Stable Managers* *Not so stable at that, as a matter of fact.
------------- ADVERTISEMENT -----------
-- ELMERLEE THOMAS (Miss Seven-League Boots of W. Kansas) says.- "Have you got that yen to see the FAR SIDE OF THE HILL?
I was born for roamin'-roam I always will - I used to wonder if it was greener on the far side of the hill until I found out through your Express Coach Service!'
MARC RICHARDS . NONPAREIL STAGE LINES INC.
Ticket Agents in All Leading Municipalities Wet Belly . Little Big Eye . Messa Blast . North Crumble
"TURN HOME, BELOVED
-You Can't Lick Seven Guns!"
Our Reporter Witnesses Dramatic Shooting in Tombstone
Reporter Ernie Sheldon claimed that he and the Gateways witnessed a moonlight shooting in the Hanging Square of Tombstone during a one-nighter which the group played there on their recent tour through the Arizona Territory. However, their story seems to have as many holes in it as the victim.
The Gateways claim that seven black-clad strangers gunned down a young cowboy in the abandoned square. As they watched, they heard a voice crying out, "Turn home, beloved." At this point, the Gateways cut out fast. "What else would you do?" asked bass-singer Jerry Walter. "It ain't bad enough we got the Kingston Trio muscling in on our territory, we got to be seein' and hearin' things, too.. "
Try Our New Child-Setting Service
HUSH, LITTLE BABY
At your service night and day: Jerry Walter and Elmerlee Thomas Specialists equipped with the latest in Burlap Diapers, Haig & Haig Feeding Bottles, & Other Modern and Serviceable Appurtenances
OLD JOE CLARK
invite you to a party in honor of the town's leading citizen
* STERLING CHARACTER
* CARD DEALER
* MUSIC LOVER
* BELOVED BY US ALL !
* PREACHIN' FOOL
* LADIES' MAN
* NATIONWIDE TRAVELER
8:30 Saturday night at
THE TOWN HALL
Subscription: $0.25 at the door, or payable to Betsy Brown, treasurer, Old Joe Clark Committee
Don't miss The Folk Memories Archive at
O Bury Me Not On The Lone Prairie (3:10)
I'm Gonna Leave Old Texas Now (3:10)
Hard Likker (1:51)
Good Man In The Badlands (2:00)
Spanish is the Loving Tongue (2:40)
Ridin' Home (2:14)
I Ride an Old Paint (2:50)
Far Side of the Hill (2:53))
Turn Home, Beloved (3:25)
Old Joe Clark (2:00)
Hush, Little Baby (1:28)
Experience your own hungry i reunion with the wonderful DVD featuring commentary by Enrico Banducci and performances by The Kingston Trio, Limeliters, Mort Sahl, jonathan Winters, Stan Wilson + rare Lenny Bruce footage. Just click the icon to order direct from Amazon!
nrico Banducci's hungry i lives again! Be sure and check out the website
For More of the best in 1960s entertainment, Click the logo above to check out the ultimate illustrated guide to "I Spy" with Robert Culp and Bill Cosby at www.l23.org
You might not have realized that Gateway Singer Travis Edmonson was also one half of the ground-breaking duo Bud & Travis, and that all their great albums were remastered to the highest standard, and are available for purchase on Travis' official site www.travisedmonson.com
Keep the Bud & Travis legacy alive. A must visit for all Gateway fans!